Biography: Lord Foul “The Despiser”

 

Born to privilege in one of the most powerful evil families ever conceived, Lord Foul (“Jimmy” to his friends) has long been a creature of contrasts. 

 

“I never used to like being a Foul,” says the dark lord, “I mean…my father UberLord Foul was worshipped, yes, but despised and feared as well…who needs the drama, right?  Of course, when I finally disemboweled my first infant and felt that rush of joy mingled with pride, I realized…Dad was right!”

 

After four years at Evil University (where he majored in pottery with a minor in torture), there was a brief stint in the Peace Corps (“Dad almost had a fit!”) and then it was back to his dark kingdom (“Actually, it’s a principality,” he says modestly) to assume his place as leader amidst growing rumors that the UberLord was growing too senile to fulfill his duties.

 

“It was sad really…by the end he spent most of his day walking around in his robe and mismatched slippers singing the soundtrack to Kiss Me Kate.  He would’ve hated being seen like that.”  Which is why on an unusually warm October evening, young Lord Foul ate his father and became the supreme representation of evil in this or any other dimension…

 

“Oh, Stop! Did my publicist tell you to say that?  I’m just a regular guy with a fancy job killing things…”